Is It Impolite to Ask for Another Drink from a Server?

Understanding the Role of a Food Runner

When you visit a restaurant, it's common to assume that the primary role of a server is to deliver food and drinks to your table. While this is generally true, the dynamics can change in more upscale establishments. In such places, servers might take on a more sales-oriented role, encouraging customers to order pricier items like wine or specialty dishes. In some cases, food may be delivered by a runner, or even a robot cat, as seen in a unique Arizona ramen restaurant. But what should you do if you need another round of drinks while a runner is bringing your meal?

According to etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts, author of "A Traveler's Passport to Etiquette in a Post-Pandemic World," it’s not appropriate to ask a food runner for additional drinks. "The food runner's job is to bring food from the kitchen to the table, not to take drink orders," she explained. "It's a bit like asking the mail carrier to pick up your dry cleaning — wrong task, wrong role." However, even though it might not be the norm, there are ways to handle the situation politely.

Polite Requests and Communication

If you do flag down a food runner, keep your request simple. A polite message to notify your server about your needs is acceptable. This approach respects the runner's role and ensures that your server remains informed. Grotts also mentioned that there are several drink-related questions you can ask a food runner without overstepping their boundaries.

For example, you can inquire about a drink that is taking longer than expected or ask for a water glass to be refilled. Additionally, since food runners are typically trained to know the menu, you can ask about specific drinks or even those not listed. However, Grotts cautions against treating them like a personal bartender. "They have their hands full enough getting hot plates to the table before they turn cold," she said. This is especially important in restaurants serving dishes like sizzling fajitas, where timing is crucial.

Handling Situations When Your Server Isn't Available

What should you do if your server seems overwhelmed or unavailable? Grotts suggests a polite workaround. If your server is swamped, you can flag down a manager or host and discreetly ask for assistance. If neither is visible, you might need to get up and look around or have someone guide you to them.

Another option is to approach a walk-up bar if available. In such cases, you can order drinks directly from the bartender. However, Grotts advises informing your server about this action to avoid any duplication of orders or missed gratuities. If you end up with extra drinks, it’s your responsibility, so you might as well enjoy them and take an Uber home.

Additional Tips for a Smooth Dining Experience

Grotts emphasizes the importance of clear communication and respect for each staff member's role. By understanding the responsibilities of food runners and servers, you can ensure a more pleasant dining experience for everyone involved. Remember, the goal is to enjoy your meal while being considerate of the efforts of the restaurant staff.

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